The 7 Golden Rules Of Trauma Release
1 – Stress Self Awareness
You need first to get a bit acquainted with your stress:
Whenever you feel you don’t manage anymore, you feel angry, you feel burn out or anything like that. Don’t just suppress all of this down, ignoring and going on as you probably are used to do.
Give it space.
Listen to what your system has to say to you. Try to get to know it, even if at the beginning feels scary.
Write down with very few words how it abstractedly feels and give it a number of intensity from 1 till 10 and a colour of your choice.
Repeat, repeat, repeat.
See how much you then become attuned in recognising your stress and its patterns in different situations and contexts.
2 – Basic Physical Awareness
Now you can better recognise and honour the signals your system sends you to warn you about stress.
However, often times, you feel the effect of stress in the body as well. So now just go asking your body.
Where do you feel stress in the body hiding itself or even storing itself?
Do you dare enough to feel in longer there? How does it feel? Tense, numb, restless, how?
Don’t come too fast to conclusions.
Let the truth of your body rise to you layer after layer, moment after moment, taste the sensation of discovering new truths in yourself.
3 – Self-Acceptance
You can’t heal, can’t release, can’t even properly handle, nor you can truly let others handle for you, if you first don’t accept what in this moment is.
So, now you are aware of how your stress works and accumulate, you are aware of how your body uniquely reacts to it, but maybe now you can feel like an “Aha moment” and believe you have they key to change that, by actively fighting and resisting what your body manifests.
That’s actually one of the worse mistakes you could do!
Then, it would been better for you, if you wouldn’t have learned recognising your body’s reaction to stress and how your system handles it throughout the nature of what you are, in first place.
Forcing yourself to “accept” also doesn’t really work, what I suggest is just being with it, getting along with it, giving it space. Acceptance will then rise a side effect and not as a scope.
4 – Lightness
After recognising that acceptance took actually place in you. You don’t want to be acquiescent with you, you don’t want to be sad on you, you want to recreate a space where this can breathe in and out, as easy as that.
Don’t go heavy on the newly made acceptance with yourself. Practice the void, practice staying without answers. Practice the opening and realising with this feeling and not fencing and “making yours”.
5 – Breaking Free From Feeling Ashamed
Feeling ashamed for what you are in this moment and how you feel, restricts quite tangibly the healing effects of what you just now discovered could have on you and your system.
Firstly you need to recognise how shame works in you and with you: you may notice that you feel like realising, like letting go somehow, but as soon as you start this process, something comes in as well and blocks it very fast, then you feel something else, an emotion perhaps, then a thought, a rational reason for it to be.
This is the shame process taking part in you. Shame has been created and educated into us, adding shame over shame, for some many different generations. We needed the bad and the good, the duality, we didn’t know better back then. The way to handle, the bad, the not allowed, was forcing in certain unpleasurable feelings into the person who committed the act. This feeling became an emotional living being of itself. Shame was born.
This is what you face now, so don’t blame yourself for it, or for your past, they have less to do with it, than you may think.
Do this instead, feel ashamed, but do not bury it even more, the being ashamed of being ashamed! Fractals and fractals of the same root!
Let it express itself instead, let it come to the surface, allow to this divergence, this disharmony coming up in your voice, in your movement, when it’s authentically felt. Let yourself feel you are allowed to not be perfect, to not fit with the picture the mind built of itself for itself. You are, this, now and I want you to speak out your truths to yourself and through you!
6 – Believing The Wisdom Of The Body
At this point the body will come in automatically to the rescue. With its language, he will try to show up to you what it is. If you allow that, you are healing, if you suppress that, you are actually harming yourself.
Ever you heard of spontaneous dancing? Practice moving, really, as you feel, no restrictions here. Practice it first in a way protected environment maybe. All the movements arising from the acceptance of the shame. Let them happen. Express them out, don’t give them any direction or form other than what they are already charged within.
Allow yourself to look strange and weird and be ashamed for it. Be that, release that!
Trust within your heart in those moments, the wisdom of your body.
7 – Not Being Greedy
Don’t overdo it, don’t try to overuse this healing process for what seems to be your scopes. Otherwise you’ll fake it out and it’ll get you nowhere.
Don’t push. Let come.
When you expressed out what truly needed to be expressed, you’ll feel for a short while relaxedly tired. But immediately after the scope, the wanting, may arise and you may get that feeling of having it in your hands, of wanting the real thing now.
Be aware of that space, between these two sensations. You don’t have to walk that bridge over. As what you would do this way, is building inside yourself an artefact what doesn’t really exist otherwise. If you follow this path long enough, you may educate your system to follow, the lie for the truth and the truth for the lie.
So, don’t grasp to that nice sensation, don’t try to make it yours and it will be yours in its own freedom. Remember this is a gift to you, trying to reproduce or fabricate the sensation, will just generate an illusion, and therefore instead than truly releasing, you will be adding on top.
To attune you with this, practice in life fully feeling positive and negative sensations, as they arise, while letting go of holding an image or coalesce of it. Stick, sort to say, to the fresh and new sensation which still holds its genuine truth and essence for you, instead than building a static statue of it, which creates another version of that feeling, overriding the true and alive one, as a mirage enveloping it all over.