“Do you really want to enjoy better conversations? Really?”
If you believe so, ask first yourself really and honestly the above question, no automatic answer.. let it really deeply get through yourself… don’t answer out of what you believe should be right, answer out of what you really feel and sense as being truthful.
If you do, then learn to develop in yourself a genuine interest in what other says. You don’t show interest to make the other happy as if you were listening; forget that once and for all! You really want to understand. And if the topic seems to be not so important for you, you say this or ask a question with the potential to make the whole conversation develop through a more interesting path for both.
If you cannot connect to what is being shared with you, it is much better to simply say this, other than going on with a situation that sooner or later will create a very weird sensation between everybody who is involved. This may seem rude at the beginning, but it actually opens the door for something more interesting to germinate out of maybe the silence.
Don’t be afraid of sharing silence! Silence is always the ground from which any conversation rises. If you fill it with too many sounds and words, it may feel at some point as if, your words are rootless and share no same ground with the other listening to you.
Catch yourself thinking of an answer – you believing to understand while the other is speaking, and let go of that false friend. Notice if the other wants still to share, and if that’s the case, just let go of yourself and this conversation-cutting and sterilising mechanism. Create space sort to say instead the filling space.
Practice listening to yourself without definitions or conclusions of any sort. Just listen to what any physical, emotional, mental and energetical part of you is saying and manifesting within and without you. Just go about feeling as deeply as possible. Letting go all along of all definitions and conclusions that rise. Drift along swiftly in the very dynamic world of the unknown truth of the present awareness of all what you can now perceive.
Practice this truthfully and you’ll see how a new dimension in the conversations you take part of somehow progressively opens up 😉